The Farmer’s Daughter: Living with Mental Illness, Stigma, and Strength in Rural Illinois

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a time to elevate voices and experiences that are too often left in the shadows, especially in rural communities where stigma can run deep. For Illinois farmer Brandy, this conversation is deeply personal.

Brandy grew up not only as a farmer’s daughter, but also as the child of a mother living with paranoid schizophrenia. “Being the farmer’s daughter has brought me much pride but I am also a paranoid schizophrenic’s daughter,” she shared, reflecting on how both identities shaped her life.

As a young child, she didn’t understand why her mother would believe the home was being watched or that phones were being “bugged.” She remembers moments that, in hindsight, reflect the severity of her mother’s illness. “As a child you don’t understand what that means,” she said, describing the confusion and fear of those early years.

Her mother, highly intelligent and deeply creative, lived in a reality shaped by delusions and paranoia. Brandy recalls how her mother would sometimes share these thoughts only with her and her sister. “She would tell us things that she was thinking,” she said, “because they were in on it.”

Like many families affected by serious mental illness, Brandy’s household lived in cycles and periods where her mother was stable and loving, followed by episodes of instability that brought fear and uncertainty. At times, intervention was necessary to keep her safe, a process that was as heartbreaking as it was complicated.

“I would come home from school and she would have the phone completely disassembled on our kitchen table because she thought everything was bugged,” Brandy said, recalling how quickly reality could shift.

Her father and grandmother became anchors of stability, while the farm itself became a refuge. “Our dad was very much our caretaker,” she said. Time spent working alongside him offered structure, escape, and grounding in an otherwise unpredictable home life.

Farming became safety, identity, and healing.

Now an adult, Brandy reflects on how those experiences shaped her. “Every time she would go into these seasons, I would lose my mom,” she said. “But when she was medicated, she was just the best human.”

She also recognizes what she wishes more people understood: mental illness is real, complex, and often deeply misunderstood, especially in rural communities where stigma can silence families.

Her message today is one of compassion and connection. “Just know that you’re not alone and don’t be afraid of reaching out and getting help,” she said, encouraging others to seek support and speak openly.

Brandy hopes that sharing her story helps others feel less isolated and reframes how mental illness is viewed. “Mental illness is very, very much real,” she said. “It’s no different than Alzheimer’s or other conditions that people understand.”

Mental illness doesn’t just affect individuals, it impacts families, communities, and generations. And in Brandy’s story, it also reveals resilience, empathy, and the quiet strength it takes to keep going.

Watch the full episode of Brandy talking about her experience.